Pittsburgh.  I was never too much of a fan and was absolutely delighted with my eight year old self when I realized in third grade that the first syllable could easily be exchanged for a swear word.  Even at a young age, I appreciated a good pun.  Admittedly, Pittsburgh isn’t that fun to a grumpy child.  However, you can have a great time as a grumpy adult.

Pittsburgh is well known for its beautiful rivers and bridges.  I was always content to merely observe the strangely clean water.   However, with Kayak Pittsburgh, I was able to fully appreciate the beauty of the skyline.  I had to pay special attention to the Ducky Tours, which would obnoxiously shriek their presence and cause waves that made staying upright challenging.  Also, I was unaware that I would develop sea legs after being in a kayak for less than an hour.  I fell.  Hard.  But we don’t need a picture of that.

In Northern Pittsburgh, there are further opportunities to embarrass yourself.  Go Ape Zip Lining is located in North Park, Pittsburgh.  Here, you climb up into the trees and tackle many aerial obstacles, designed to make you look foolish.  My favorite was the metal hoops, intended to be footholds but actually serving as a source of acrobatic humiliation.  I also had a bit of trouble landing, unless you are supposed to land on your back with your shoes flying in two different directions.  Still, North Park is absolutely beautiful and an essential stop in your virtual tour.

The food in Pittsburgh is absolutely fantastic and is what gets me out of bed in the morning.  In Market Square, you will find the best that the city has to offer.   The cliché route, of course, is to treat yourself to a Primanti Brothers sandwich, which I am told has French fries in it, instead of on the side.  If you can stand to miss out on that level of innovation, Noodles and Company is a holy staple.  The Noodles and Company mac and cheese is truly divine and the fact that they don’t deliver yet is a crime on par with first degree murder. Il Pizzaiolo, however, takes the first prize.  Il Pizzaiolo is a pizza restaurant where the owners order all of their ingredients fresh from Italy.  Usually, there is an old movie playing behind the bar.  If the waiters all dressed up like Lord of the Rings characters, I would think the place was made especially for me.

I feel I should mention PNC Park.  Although sports hold zero interests for me, it is relatively cleaner and more spacious than the average stadium.  Additionally, you get a truly stunning glimpse of the city’s rivers and skyline.  This comes in handy, as it gives you an excuse to not watch the Pittsburgh Pirates’ consistently terrible performances.

It is impossible to fully experience Pittsburgh through these photos.  You miss out on the atmosphere, the colorful people, and, let’s face it, the smell.  Still, I hope I was able to at least give you a cursory glance at my hometown.